Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Homeless Dude Project

Hey.......... what a coincidence, I also work for food!! I also work to pay for my mortgage, my car payment, formula, beer, golf........ you get the idea.

Throughout my adult life, my attitude has changed...... often and a lot in some cases. The 18 year old Julian; while awesome and in pretty good shape as I remember, was quite flawed. And I hope that the 27 year old Julian is at lease a slight improvement, all though according to my lovely wife, I have become more of a bitch. But that's a whole different blog.

Anyway, on to my point. One thing I've really tried to work on as the years passed is my compassion, and giving people the benefit of the doubt..... at least until they prove me wrong. Let's say some random homeless dude is sitting on the side of the road with a sign. We've all seen them. The 18 year old Julian would have immediately been disgusted and started bitching and carrying on about what a worthless piece of crap this guy is, and probably yelled "get a job you piece of crap" as I drove by.

Nowadays I think I feel a little sorry for the guy, but then I ask myself how he got there, and how much he's really doing to better his situation. And then I had a genius idea to find out............. The Homeless Dude Project.

Here's my plan: Find 10 random homeless people. And offer them a job, nothing too hard or strenuous; just basic manual labor. Say......10 bucks an hour. Give them the address, and offer them a ride, or at least a bus ticket so there's no "I couldn't get there" excuse.

Then, the Homeless Dude Project begins..........

My guess is, out of 10, 6-8 won't show up, or call you, or contact you ever again. But again, this is 27 year old Julian, and I want to give these people a chance. If they do show up, maybe they'll work hard and do good..... my guess is they'll realize that panhandling is easier than actual work and quit, or just not show up the next day, or have such a crappy work ethic that you have to fire them. But again, benefit of the doubt here.

So where do you come in?? Well like most of you, I work for someone else, and I don't have the power to hire/fire people. So I wanna get some of you small business owners in on this. Or those of you that work for someone else, see if your boss will back you up on this, I'm going to.

Let's see if these people truly down on their luck, or did they put themselves where they are.

They say "Will work for food". Let's call their bluff..................


Monday, May 17, 2010

Balls Up Chapter 2, Playing with New People

Hello friends, welcome to Chapter 2 of the "Balls Up" series, a every man's guide to golf etiquette. This chapter will discuss playing with new people. Something that can be nerve racking, but doesn't have to be. It can actually be a really fun time, especially if you probably won't see that person again :-)

Anytime I hear about a new guy that I'll be playing with, I only have one question: Is he good??. That way I know how to act. If he's good, you can probably bet he at least takes the game somewhat seriously, so maybe don't fart during his back swing, or unstrap his clubs from the cart so they fly off when the cart takes off.

But that doesn't mean you can't have fun. Just keep the beer coming and stay the hell out of his way and you'll probably end up buddies by the time it's over. That's how it works out for me anyway.

And whatever you do, NEVER....... let me repeat NEVER offer up golf advice to ANYONE, but especially someone you don't know that well. I know, you read Golf Digest last night while you were on the pot, but no one cares. No one. Don't be that guy!!!

Just have fun, and try not to hit anyone with your balls. (He he he).


RIP Ronnie James Dio

It's a sad day my fellow rockers. One of the greatest rock vocalists of all time, and the creator of my all time favorite hand signal (no it's not the finger), has passed after a battle with stomach cancer.

Ronnie James Dio is probably best known for taking the reigns of Black Sabbath after Ozzy Osbourne left. He did a great job, and recorded Heaven and Hell, one of my favorite Sabbath songs. He also went on to form his own band, Dio, which recorded many hits, such as Holy Diver, and Rainbow in the dark.

So here's to a true pioneer of Rock and F'N Roll.

RIP Dio, you will be missed..............


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Balls Up Chapter 1, Quick Run of Golf Lessons

Not gonna waste a lot of time here. Believe it or not, actually playing well is a DISTANT 5th on my priorities behind 1: Having fun, 2: Getting a nice buzz, 3: Talking Crap, and 4: Getting some sun on my white ass.

So here's my quick, yet effective strategy for when you actually have to set down your beer, be quiet, and hit the ball once in a while.

Balls: Cheap. The cheaper the better.

Clubs: Honestly, whatever looks and makes you feel like a BAD ASS, that's what you should buy. Who cares how cheap or expensive they are.

Off the tee: If it's not a par 3, Driver. End of story. Put that stupid ass hybrid up, no one from the tour is scouting you today, and I highly doubt you're going to hit that silly looking thing good anyway. Quit taking yourself so seriously. Driver all the way.

Irons: Take one more club than you think you need, and swing easy. Like a pitching wedge. Nice..... and easy.

Shot Shaping: If you wanna try to draw it, go for it. Hit a high cut, or a low fade, or hell, try to clear some tall trees. You might not make it, but you probably won't hit it straight if you try that either, so who gives a shit?? Just have fun out there.

Lay up or go for it: I hope you don't ever ask yourself this question, but if you do.............. GO FOR IT!!! If you have 225 yards to clear water and you hit your 3 wood 226 yards, you damn well better go for it. If you hit your 3 wood 220 yards, use your driver off the ground. Yes you can do that and no it won't hurt your precious 800 dollar Taylormade CRZ-99LBT with adjustable weighting parameter zone distribution.

On the green. Putt it in the damn hole. If it's within the steel part of you putter shaft to the hole, it's a gimme. I don't give a shit if it's for eagle or triple bogey. Pick it up.

I think that's it............ any questions??

Don't you love getting golf advise from a guy probably breaks 100 25% of the time??


Balls Up!

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~Jimmy DeMaret

Never have more true words been spoken. Hello, and welcome to my latest round of babblings, entitled: Balls Up. It's a REAL WORLD guide to golf Etiquette. Not that "place ball two club lengths not nearest the hole" crap. Real world rules for those of us that aren't in the PGA.

Warning: If you take Golf seriously, don't read ANY further. Seriously, if you're the guy that throws grass up in the air to see which way the wind's blowing, and doesn't like people walking in "YOUR LINE",just go back top whatever you were doing. I honestly appreciate you stopping by, and be sure to check out all the other crap I blog about.

Anyway, golf is such an amazing hobby of mine. All though I haven't been playing much lately, it is truly my favorite hobby......... and I SUCK!! I'm horrible at golf, but I have so much fun, and I ALWAYS laugh my ass off, and usually come home with a decent buzz and a few new stories to tell.

And that's what this series of blogs will be about: How to act on a golf course. I'll be covering all sorts of crap, from playing with people you don't know, to trash talking (yes golf has it's own set of trash talk), to flirting with the beer girl without coming off creepy. And all sorts of other shit. It's all here for the taking.

And......... as an added bonus, I'll have plenty of real life stories peppered in there for your enjoyment. Like the time me and my buddy rolled a gol......... I think I'll save that one for later.

Anyway, stay tuned for the first episode coming soon!!!!!!!!!

Comments and suggestions are welcome as always!!!!


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Life Update

Anyone remember this guy? He's the crazy baby selling biker guy from Raising Arizona. He used to scare the shit out of me when I was a kid.

So anyway, with all the crazy informative blogs lately, I really haven't been keeping anyone updated on what's up with me. Not that it's all that interesting, but are any of my blogs really all that interesting??

My life hasn't changed all that much. Coop is now crawling and climbing up on EVERYTHING, which means no more set him down and watch TV. But it's so amazing to see him learn to balance, and "cruise" along the coffee table and it seems like half the time we go into his room while he's supposed to be napping, he's standing in his crib just checking out the world.

Every thing's so new to him. Rain, Snow, Solid Food, Soon to be The Blazing Oklahoma Heat, etc. We should all be so lucky to have our minds blown on a daily basis.

What a great kid, he sleeps good, smiles ALL the time, and if you don't fall in love with him the moment you meet him, don't even worry about getting to know me.

And his mom is blowing my mind constantly as always. To see her transform into this amazing mother pretty much instantly is so inspiring to me. Every day is a gift with those two, let me tell you. What ever I did to deserve them is BEYOND me!!

Here's a few pics of the clan, not the Klan, but the Case Clan.


Monday, May 10, 2010


Hello my people of the Blog World. I hope you enjoy my little blog, and I appreciate you stopping by.

As always, comments and suggestions are not only allowed, but STRONGLY encouraged. After all, this is for all of your enjoyment, so feedback is crucial!

I wanted to keep you all abreast (he he breast) of a few things. As you can see, I've added a news segment, which I try to update at least a few times a week so you can all stay informed, as well as a video player of some random funny crap for your enjoyment also! So you don't just have to read my ramblings when you happen to stumble over here.

Anyway, the Smack Talk 101 course is almost completed, but I'm already developing another course thanks to some feedback from a fan. See..... the feedback works!

My next course, which will be a practical guide to golfing, from a drunken, 30 handicap (on a good day)'s perspective. I haven't quite figured out a name, but as always, I'm up for suggestions.

And as always, the normal Random Crap Blog Segments are in full effect! And what are those you ask??

Douchebag of the Week (Every Tuesday)
Ask Jules (On demand)
Smack Talk 101 (Last segment this week!)

And much more to come!

Have a good week,


Thursday, May 6, 2010


Sorry to be so abrupt, I hope you'll forgive me.

I really feel like the creative juices haven't been flowing as much lately, and I need some new blog ideas??



Which type of blogs do you guys enjoy the most??



Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Smack Talk 101, Part 4: Sarcasm is Golden

Hello my friends!! How are you??

OK, I must say, this is BY FAR my favorite segment of the Smack Talk 101 course. I LOVE sarcasm. I honestly overuse it, but I just love it so much. It's a very useful tool when running smack, and when used in conjunction with my next and final chapter to the Smack Talk 101 course, it can be a very helpful lure to have in your smack talk tacklebox. Ohh I like that name, Smack Talk Tacklebox. Damn I wish I would have named this course that. Oh well........

Crap I forgot to include a picture, hmmmmmmmm here's one I find funny:

Funny?? At least random right? Anyway..............

Sarcasm is really pretty self explanatory. I suggest you use it often.

Need some examples? Of course you don't. But I wanna give some anyway, so here goes.

"Hey Julian, did you hear that Lindsey Lohan has a substance abuse problem?"

"Nooooooo, REALLY??"

Ya know what, you guys know how to use sarcam. I'm just endlessly rambling at this point.


Monday, May 3, 2010

Douchebag of the Week Segment 2

Welcome to the Random Crap Blog!! This weeks Douchebag of the week award goes out to; not a specific person, but a douchy group of people. And the award goes to:

Facebook Spell Checkers!!

You know who you are!! Prowling the Social Networking Circuit with your self righteous attitude.

Guess what? I don't care if I spell "definitely" wrong, and I also don't care if I use "there" instead of "their", or "a lot" vs "allot". IT'S FREKIN FACEBOOK!! Not a job resume, not my acceptance speech for the Pulitzer Prize. Quit taking life so damn seriously........

And this also applies to Myspace, Twitter, and ............ yes, that's right.... even Blogger. These are Blogs, not an international peace treaty.

So.......... to all those Spell Checkers out there: Go Fukk Yurselv